Because sometimes 140 just ain't enough

anarchivist: Disks Rule Everything Around Me

Wed, 27 Feb 2013 09:45:40 -0500

Disks Rule Everything Around Me

Dear Brad: Am I an Obamacare Douche?

Thu, 15 Nov 2012 19:42:18 -0500

Since the election, I have been deluged by a flood of letters and emails from business owners. (NOTE: The preceding is a lie. But go with it.) Many of these business owners are concerned, because now that Obama has been reelected, Obamacare looks like it will become the law of the land, and that means work and/or expenditures by said business owners to comply with the law. Many of these people are concerned that they are being douchebags in their response, which is a reasonable concern considering that Papa John’s, Applebee’s, Jimmy John’s, and Denny’s CEOs or franchisees have all proven themselves to be douchebags already. I can see how you would want to avoid that. But I also recognize that self-identifying douchery is difficult.

Fear not! I have come up with a simple test, which I will replicate below, which will tell you not only if you are a douchebag about implementing Obamacare, but to what extent! It’s simple— just identify the phrase that has come out of your mouth since November 6, and I will quickly and painlessly classify you. Let’s get started!

1. “I have already been providing health care to all or most of my employees, so Obamacare doesn’t really affect me.”

Not only are you not a douche, you are also an American Hero. I salute you, Sir or Madam.

2. “I am going to take a major pay cut in order to pay for health care for my employees as mandated by the PPACA.”

You are not a douche, but this is probably counteracted by the fact that there is no evidence you exist.

3. “I am going to pass on the cost of Obamacare to my customers, but not make a stink about it.”

You are not a douche, because you realize that in a regulated market external costs are a thing. I will happily pay 50 cents extra for my sammich.

4. “I am going to pass on the cost of Obamacare to my customers and make a huge stink about it.”

You’re following the non-douchy path, but you are doing it in sort of a douchy way. Proceed with caution.

5. “I am going to eat the fine levied by the PPACA and continue not providing my employees healthcare.”

You may or may not be a douche, but you probably have enough money that you don’t care what I think about you.

6. “I am going to slash worker hours to avoid hitting the PPACA trigger, but not say anything about it.”

You are probably a douche, but at least you have the decency to be ashamed of it.

7. “I am going to slash worker hours to avoid hitting the PPACA trigger, and put out a statement letting the world know that I’m slashing hours because of Obamacare.”

You are almost certainly a douche, and, in basically ensuring that no Liberal ever darkens your door ever again, possibly have the business sense of a turnip.

8. “I am going to both slash worker hours to avoid hitting the PPACA trigger AND pass on the potential cost of Obamacare to my customers, and make sure the world knows about both.”

Not only are you a douche, you are also a spiteful jackass.

9. “I am going to fire most or all of my workers and replace them with illegal immigrant labor that I can pay under the table, thereby avoiding the PPACA trigger.”

You are Mitt Romney. You probably cry yourself to sleep at night because this campaign forced you to disavow your greatest achievement as governor of Massachusetts, and you didn’t even win.

10.”I am going to invent a time machine, go back to 1890, and restart my business in a time before I had to worry about silly things like ‘minimum wage’ or ‘health care.’

God speed, Sir or Madam.

Well. That’s new. Good for #uwm for promoting school...

Fri, 09 Nov 2012 09:57:22 -0500

Well. That’s new. Good for #uwm for promoting school spirit though.

Pretty! Well, either that or the sky is on fire. (Taken with...

Tue, 16 Oct 2012 08:13:02 -0400

Pretty! Well, either that or the sky is on fire. (Taken with Instagram at home)

dog, lawn, and person: all 3 need to go to the groomers. (Taken...

Sun, 16 Sep 2012 12:53:32 -0400

dog, lawn, and person: all 3 need to go to the groomers. (Taken with Instagram)

“faster, dammit! I’m not paying you to loaf about...

Sun, 16 Sep 2012 12:43:43 -0400

“faster, dammit! I’m not paying you to loaf about and take pictures all morning.” (Taken with Instagram)

Bodacious N, supervising yardwork and helping in his own way...

Sun, 16 Sep 2012 12:30:06 -0400

Bodacious N, supervising yardwork and helping in his own way (read: eating leaves) (Taken with Instagram)

They say you should let sleeping dogs lie. They never said...

Fri, 17 Aug 2012 22:45:11 -0400

They say you should let sleeping dogs lie. They never said anything about taking pictures of their fang, though. (Taken with Instagram)

Submitted without comment. (Taken with Instagram)

Fri, 17 Aug 2012 22:17:53 -0400

Submitted without comment. (Taken with Instagram)

I’m brad houston and I support this store concept. (Taken...

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 13:40:41 -0400

I’m brad houston and I support this store concept. (Taken with Instagram at The Cerveza Store)

This guy greets you as you enter. Clearly a zoo with its...

Sun, 12 Aug 2012 12:31:58 -0400

This guy greets you as you enter. Clearly a zoo with its priorities straight. (Taken with Instagram)

Zoo! Woo! (Taken with Instagram)

Sun, 12 Aug 2012 12:23:38 -0400

Zoo! Woo! (Taken with Instagram)

I’ll take “wouldn’t eat here if you paid...

Sun, 12 Aug 2012 12:04:46 -0400

I’ll take “wouldn’t eat here if you paid me” for $400, Alex. (Taken with Instagram)

Haus! (hmm… That antenna is going to have to go. Damn....

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 21:36:02 -0400

Haus! (hmm… That antenna is going to have to go. Damn. (Taken with Instagram)

OM NOM NOM (Taken with Instagram)

Fri, 29 Jun 2012 18:13:28 -0400

OM NOM NOM (Taken with Instagram)

Yeah, I know people say there are better wings in buffalo but I...

Fri, 29 Jun 2012 18:09:40 -0400

Yeah, I know people say there are better wings in buffalo but I was attracted by the historic. (Taken with Instagram at Anchor Bar)

Ahem. EEE HISTORIC EEE #dignityisforchumps (Taken with Instagram...

Sun, 24 Jun 2012 12:09:43 -0400

Ahem. EEE HISTORIC EEE #dignityisforchumps (Taken with Instagram at Finz Seafood & Grill)

Don’t forget their hats! Their hats are easily reasons 1a,...

Fri, 15 Jun 2012 09:37:46 -0400

Don’t forget their hats! Their hats are easily reasons 1a, 3a, and 4a for buying Victory Bonds.

the-seed-of-europe:

Canadian propaganda, 1917.

Reason #1 - Canada hates your mustaches.

Reason #2 - Canada hates your mustaches.

Reason #3- Seriously, those are fucking terrible.

Reason #4 - Fuck you. And your mustache.

Anyone who does #1 or #2 in EDH needs to be taken out back and...

Fri, 15 Jun 2012 09:32:50 -0400

Anyone who does #1 or #2 in EDH needs to be taken out back and shot. (That said, gifting Taniwha is pretty damn funny, especially if you put Faith’s Fetters on it.)

My own Zedruu has shifted more and more away from Group Hug and towards “Build up a huge cushion of life until I can kill you with Storm Herd/Insurrection/Reins of Chaos and/or stick WinCat or Test of Endurance.” I’m going to enjoy the guy who doubles your lifegain in this deck for that very reason.

Also, how good is Solitary Confinement in a pillowfort Zedruu deck? “Skip my draw step?! If only there were some way I could draw additional cards to keep Solitary Confinement alive… Hmmm….”)

addictedtoedh:

Card of the Day - Zedruu the Greathearted

Zedruu is a much loved/hated general. Here are some combos for a Zedruu deck that were suggested by firecloud.
- Gift someone Celestial Dawn and if they aren’t playing a white general they won’t be able to cast coloured spells.
- Mindslaver an opponent and gift them Claws of gix and sac their whole board.
- Donating a transcendence is an instant kill as well so long you are able to cast it.
- Playing rainbow vale and targeting it with Political Trickery or shifting borders is a complete shaft as well.

Zac Hill was pretty blatant about it in his article on the...

Fri, 15 Jun 2012 09:10:00 -0400

Zac Hill was pretty blatant about it in his article on the mothership, but in case you read said article before coffee, the lack of the word “basic” in here means that Shocklands WILL be back in RTR. You can take it to the bank. (Unless they’re trolling us and are reprinting Leechridden Swamp, in which case I WILL go to Renton and run over R&D with a bus for trolling their player base.)

Oh, the card itself? ‘Saright. The -3 is stupid in Skittles EDH (Why yes, I WOULD like to one-shot people with my general, thanks for asking) and she’s probably going in my Wrexial and/or Ghave decks, both of which are very mana-hungry and can appreciate that emblem. She’s respectable, if not great. She certainly doesn’t “make Tibalt look like JTMS”, as some moron on Facebook suggested. (Trollers gotta troll, apparently.)